Sydney Slater was a penniless writer and magician. He eked out a meager existence in a tiny one bedroom hovel on the outskirts of Pacoima, California. By night, he would perform 49 of the 50 Tricks With a Thumb Tip at the local Taco Bell. By day, he would stare at the keyboard of his outdated Dell computer, a gift from his sex surrogate, searching for inspiration. But he was bereft of any original thoughts or ideas. After all, his signature magic trick was still the Zombie Ball. And he kept dropping the ball into the pot of refried beams.
One night in a restless sleep, he imagined hearing the steady hum of his faithful Dell and a mechanical pounding away at the keyboard despite the fact that he was sure he'd shut it down earlier that evening. He awoke the next morning to find a completed manuscript among his Word documents entitled Merlin: The Untold Story. He promptly printed it out, took it to a publisher and within a matter of three short months it was on the New York Times Best Seller List with sales nearing the half million mark in its first week.
HBO renamed it The Merlin Code, made it into a cable movie and got its highest viewership numbers in years. Sydney moved into a new condo in Sherman Oaks, bought himself a used Jag and spent his days at autographed book signings at the nearby Barnes & Noble. Women suddenly found themselves attracted to him, overlooking his profound homeliness and questionable personal hygiene habits. He became a frequent guest on the Letterman show.
A few months later, in a Dom Perignon induced stupor, he once again imagined hearing the subtle humming of his lucky Dell, and again, at dawn, a new manuscript. This one, entitled The Second Coming of Houdini, did even better than the first. Quentin Tarantino picked up the movie rights and the book was translated into over 23 languages. Slater moved into a big estate in Bel Aire and traded in his Jag for a new Rolls with a silver-haired lady chauffeur. Penn Jillette called him to do lunch. The two became fast friends and, from that day on, he got comped for all of Penn and Teller's shows at the Rio in Las Vegas.
Life had changed for Sydney Slater. Starlets lined up for an opportunity to accompany him to movie premiers. His agent had to open up a second office. He opened several bank accounts to handle all his money. The Tarantino movie was released and was a box-office smash. It ended up receiving nine Academy Award nominations, including one for Best Song entitled "Houdini Do You Love" recorded by Madonna. Disney brought out a touring musical called Houdini On Ice with Tanya Harding cast as the villain.
Some time later, a newly installed alarm sounded a warning to Sydney that his revered Dell had just been turned on. He bounded out of his feathered, circular bed, through his beloved magic library and into his lavish home office. There, to his astonishment, he saw a little man with a distinctive greenish glow jumping up and down on the keyboard.
"Who are you?", Sydney asked.
"I'm a Leprechaun."
"Are you the one who's been writing the books?"
"Yes."
Sydney was overwrought with emotion, "My dearest friend and benefactor, I owe you everything: my wealth, my fame, even the woman who shares my bed. What can I give you in return? Do you want money?"
"No, thank you. Leprechauns don't need money. We have gold, remember?"
"What then? I owe you my economic fortune. My Magic Cafe column. My write-ups in Genii magazine. The Tavis Smiley interview. I know! You want women! How many women do you...?"
"Sorry. Leprechauns don't need women, either."
"But you don't understand! I owe you my very life! There must be something I can do for you?"
"Well, maybe there is. How about a co-writer's credit on the next book and a couple of tickets to Penn and Teller this weekend?", the Leprechaun asked.
Sydney looked perplexed. He paused momentarily before answering.
"Oh, I don't know. I'll have to talk to my agent about that writing thing. And Teller doesn't care much for Leprechauns..."